Friday The 13th 2 (1981)

 
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Starring: 

Plot: Mrs. Voorhees is dead, and Camp Crystal Lake is shut down, but a camp next to the infamous place is stalked by an unknown assailant.


Most sequels that come out a year after the last movie don't have great track records. We'll see if this breaks the curse.

The movie starts with a kid playing in rain puddles at night, then a man walking behind him. Or, I assume a man. There is a music sting, so going by the logic of the first movie, this is the killer. Is it Jason? He walks up to a house. Alice is upstairs, still having nightmares about the events of the first movie. It's more or less the last like....6 minutes of the movie replayed. We follow her around for a few minutes as she prepares for bed. She opens her fridge and HOLY SHIT THERE'S A HEAD IN IT! HOLY SHIT JASON JUST STABBED HER IN THE GOD DAMN TEMPLE! RIP, Alice. Should have known better than to be in a horror sequel. Is that victim blaming? I don't give a fuck. You know what you get being in a sequel. Hold up. Was that Pam's head? Is Jason carrying this head around with him? When did he have time to put it in the refrigerator? How did he even know where Alice lives?

 
 

Two young lovers with nothing better to do (CLAP CLAP CLAP CLAP CLAP) are heading to Crystal Lake. Crazy Ralph pops up. "I told the others. They didn't believe me. You're all doomed." Shout out to this girl's strong lack of bra etiquette. Someone tows their truck, but SWERVE, it was all a joke by their friend in the area. They're really going to open up this camp AGAIN?!? Come on. Oh wait, they're actually going to be at a camp on the other side of the lake. Totally okay. As we get to the new camp, be on the look out for a tracking shot of a girl's ass. Oh no, the killer! He's got a slingshot! SLINGSHOT TO THE ASS MY GOD! Oh, never mind. It's just Balki Bartokomous' more handsome brother.

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We meet the new counselors. Ginny, Paul's assistant, shows up hours later than everyone else, and Paul gets pretty hot about it. But Ginny's feminine wiles get her out of trouble. Later that night, Paul tells the story of Jason. Around a campfire. These are all adults. And staff. It's not like telling a ghost story to the kids. Some say Jason survived and is a fully grown adult who is still hunting and stalking in the area. It's been 5 years since the events of the first movie, and Jason is hungry.... OH SHIT IT'S JASON! Oh. It's just the weirdo skinny guy. Now that that's out of the way, no more Jason talk. Got it?  Lmao. Bring it up, scare all your staff who should be too old to be scared by fucking campfire stories, then tell them not to talk or think about it again.

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They all party and shit, then break off. Paul and Ginny go to FUUUUUCK. Crazy Ralph is watching. More like Dirty Ralph. No worries, he gets garroted around a tree for his peeping ways. Wait. I'm looking at this with a closer eye. Jason brings the wire from above Ralph's head. That means he either the tree was cut just above the frame, or he had pre-placed the wire on the tree in the event that would find someone standing at that tree in that specific position. I would also point out that Jason was just standing behind the same tree that Ralph was, just on the other side, so Jason's back was to the cabin, which just had two people go in it. Oh well, who gives a shit about logic? 

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The counselors all hang out at the lake, except for two, who head to Camp Crystal Lake. The ONE place you can't go to around this forest. You fucking momos. A police officer finds them and brings them back to camp. The cop leaves, but sees Jason, so he goes chasing him through the woods. He ends up at a weird little shack. My Spidey Senses tell me to not chase a dude into the woods and then snoop around in a dilapidated shack. That's just asking to get killed even not in a horror movie. Try that shit in real life and see how quickly you're shot or stabbed. Hammer to the head, hammer to the head, BY GAWD!

So, there's a big party that night somewhere near, and everyone is welcome to go. Some do, some stay. One of the girls decides to go walk down to the lake by herself at night and then...decides to go skinny dipping. By herself. Late at night. The people who stay get picked off, while the people at the bar talk about Jason. Oh shit, this bar has the KISS pinball machine! 

The dopest kill of the movie is the wheel chair guy getting chopped in the god damn head, then rolling backwards down an absurdly long flight of stairs. He was just about to bone, too. RIP. Jason is quite efficient, being able to kill two people at once. You know, this girl wasn't wearing a bra the whole movie, constantly bouncing around and what not, wears a super revealing bikini top, then when it comes to her sex scene...no nudity. Interesting. Would have for sure expected her to be the one to get naked. Instead of the random late night solo skinny dip girl who seems deeply uncomfortable shooting her scene. When we finally see Jason, he's some weirdo in flannel with a burlap bag over his head. I'm really bothered at his blade technique. At least twice he's been holding them upside down or using the wrong side. If this dude has been living in the woods his whole life, he should know how to handle a fucking blade.

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Paul and Ginny return to the main cabin, where they find a lot of blood, but no bodies. Then, the storm knocks the power out. GUYS, LOOK OUT, JASON IS IN THE ROOM! He and Paul wrassle for a bit. Ginny runs off. Of course, Jason pops up wherever she goes. Oh shit, she kicked him in the dick! Sweet call back to the Old Glory Clam Slam. She runs into a cabin and hides under a bed. A rat comes up to her. It literally scared the piss out of her. A rat. Not a giant redneck with a pitch fork chasing her all around the woods. A rat made her piss her pants. LMAO. Jason hid on a chair getting ready to stab her when she came out from under the bed, but his big ass broke the chair and he fell.  What a goof.

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Naturally, Jenny ends up in his shack, which has a shrine to Mama Voorhees' head, plus a few other bodies. You'll never guess what happens next! She puts on Pam's sweater, then pretends to be Mama. And...it works. Something extremely similar was done in one of the Psycho sequels. She almost had him, but he didn't fall for the big SWERVE. Paul shows up OUTTA NOWHERE. Jenny hacks Jason in the shoulder. It all seems over, and then, OUTTA NOWHERE, Jason jumps through the window, looking like the Toxic Avenger. The movie ends with a still shot of Pam's head.

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Outside of Jason filling his mother's shoes, this is pretty much the same movie as the first, but a bit trashier and skeezier. The skinny dip scene felt...forced. In a gross way. Every girl with a line of dialogue at some point is shown in their underwear. Any bit of tension or mystery from the original is completely dropped in favor of more gore. What Jason is or isn't isn't really explained. Did he actually not drown as a kid, and Pamela Voorhees was just a crazy woman? Did he drown, but somehow survive and end up living in the woods for the next 30 years? Or is he an undead monster? The world may never know. 


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