WWE No Mercy 2017

The Miz vs Jason Jordan WWE Intercontinental Championship

This is Jason's first singles PPV match. His big angle of being Kurt Angle's son had led to him losing all the time, and crowds heckling him constantly. In this match, they chant WHOSE YOUR DADDY and YOU SUCK, along with general booing for everything he does. He has literally no offense that isn't some kind of suplex. Even that can't get the fans on his side. This is a decent enough match, Miz continues his run as a legendary mid card character and performer. Curtis Axel and Bo Dallas provided a distraction and Miz won with the Skull Crushing Finale. Title retained. Post match, Renee Young asked JJ if he was disappointed. Jason then stumbles over his words and it sure sounds like he was about to turn on the fans when he brought up how they go wild and cheer YOU SUCK towards Kurt...and it seemed like he was going to say something about how they do the same to him but with disdain. Instead, he said Miz really does suck. "Get to the back of the line, kid." Lmao, Booker pls.

Miz zoom.gif
Jason Jordan capture suplex to Miz.gif
Jason Jordan suplex to Miz.gif
Jason Jordan double suplex to Miz.gif

Finn Balor vs Bray Wyatt

MAN VS MAN. No daemons this time. Just Finn. That's really the stipulation. Loool. Balor has some near gear, which looks like he left his NJPW junior gear in a swimming pool for 4 years, plus a gray leather jacket. Looks terrible. Bray attacks him during his entrance, doing a uranage on an announce table. Balor is injured and taken to the back, but Bray shit talks for a while until Balor puts on his PIST face and heads back to start the match. So, keep it in mind that Balor is hurt enough the refs had called off the match before it started. He's also a solid 70 pounds lighter than Bray. Omg, Bray does the Akeem dance. I hope that becomes his next gimmick. Brakeem The Everglades Dream. This is better than the Summerslam match, but that isn't saying a whole lot. Balor makes some hilarious faces. Bray gets really violent and demonic looking towards the end of this, but Balor still wins with the double stomp. Remember, Balor is a cruiserweight, and was injured enough the match was called off. And he still beat Bray decisively. Again.

Bray Wyatt slams Finn Balor on table.gif
Finn Balor mad face.gif
Bray Wyatt dances.gif
Finn Balor is shocked.gif
Finn Balor double stomp to Bray Wyatt.gif
Bray Wyatt lariat to Finn Balor.gif

TO THE CHARLIE. Charlie Caruso asks The Bar if they've adjusted their strategies coming off of Summerslam. Then they cut a bad promo. "When the match turns ugly.." "And it will." Little do you know, Cesaro. WE ARE DA BAR! 

Seth Rollins/Dean Ambrose vs The Bar WWE Raw Tag Team Championships

Seth gets knocked off the apron and thrown into the guardrail pretty much immediately. Dean is then hit with a giant swing into the steps. He waits a full 3 seconds of playing dead to start SCREAMING. Lmao. Christ. So, most of the match is Dean as FIP with a bum shoulder. The ref is weirdly involved and aggressive with Cesaro and it's hilarious. "YOU LISTEN TO ME!" "Okay!" Then Cesaro takes a slingshot into the corner and bounces his mouth off the lip of the LED post covers. His front teeth got PUSHED INTO HIS GUMS. Far enough it looked like they were knocked out. The sound was disgusting. Shortly after, Rollins gets the hot tag and hits a superkick, which sends the blood in Cesaro's mouth exploding out. Looked great. Obviously the match mostly falls apart after the injury, because CESARO GOT HIS FUCKING TEETH SMASHED UP HIS GUMS. Everyone begins loudly and clearly calling spots, the ref is clearly being talked to from the back and then telling Cesaro and Sheamus what spots to do. I can't get too mad, that shit looked and sounded so brutal. Can't imagine how much pain Cesaro was in. He looked MISERABLE. DA BAR hit fucking everything, including Cesaro doing a super Ricola bomb to Seth on top of Dean and...Dean kicked out. They hit all their double team moves, all their singles finishers. None of them work. Dean playing opossum led to Sheamus kicking Cesaro, and the Kingslayer/Dirty Deeds combo for the win. Titles retained.

Cesaro swings Dean Ambrose into stairs.gif
Cesaro big boot to Dean Ambrose.gif
Dean Ambrose slingshot to Cesaro loses teeth.gif
Seth Rollins superkick to Cesaro blood.gif
Cesaro looks miserable.gif
Cesaro superbomb to Seth Rollins on Dean Ambrose.gif

Nia Jax vs Alexa Bliss vs Sasha Banks vs Bayley vs Emma WWE Raw Women's Championship

Bayley's kinesio tape is absurd. Literally her entire shoulder, and then down to her hip. But the real story is here is Nia Jax finally being booked like female Braun Strowman and destroying everyone. Just throwing broads around and roaring. I love it. This is how she should have been booked from day one. Double Samoan drops with a squat. Then she gets hit with a powerbomb off the apron where she landed on her shoulders and ended up kneeing herself in the face. Crazy bump. For all the internet complaining about Nia, the match takes a strong hit when she's not involved. Nia even gets a super Braun spot of rising form the dead after a huge spot and the crowd getting hyped. In the end, Alexa pinned Bayley with a DDT. Title retained. This was a lot of fun.

Nia Jax spinebuster to Emma.gif
Nia Jax Samoan drop to Alexa Bliss Sasha Banks.gif
Nia Jax apron powerbomb.gif
Upset male Bayley fan.gif

John Cena vs Roman Reigns

A weirdly huge match for a random B PPV, but I'd much rather have an overstacked B show than understacked B show that might as well be Raw or Smackdown without ads. Super duper not a fan of the build up, which was weird WCW style worked shoot nonsense where they talked about BERRYING, failing as the top guy, company protection, ticket sales, and other dumb shit that went far beyond a wrestling promo should ever go. 

Before the match, Cena comes out to the most positive response he's had in probably a decade, with fans actually chanting THANK YOU CENA before Roman came out to the amazing chorus of boos, which made John laugh. I remember there being at least two times they teased this in multi man matches and the crowd didn't care at ALL, but now they do, and that's all that matters. A YOU BOTH SUCK chant gets Cena to leave the match, which pissed Roman off. Roman then goes on to completely dominate while embracing the boos. In many ways, this is a classic 2005-2010 Cena match, except none of his shit is working anymore. Roman counters all of his big come back spots and signature moves. Cena's super moves don't even work, including the super FU and the rolling FUs. The traditional Super Cena finishers aren't enough to put down Roman. You could almost say Cena's time is up. The table is the last thing left, and even that doesn't work, as Roman is able to get out and spear him from table to table, basically DDTing himself in the process. Once the chained FUs didn't work, everyone was shocked. That's been his super duper finisher and has yet to be kicked out of. Until tonight. Cena was like wtf man, gets hit with a pop up superman punch and spear. Roman Reigns wins! One spear. Well, technically two I guess since one was on the tables. 

John Cena laughs.gif
Roman Reigns winks.gif
Roman Reigns zoom in.gif
Roman Reigns punches John Cena.gif
Roman Reigns powerbomb to John Cena.gif
John Cena super FU to Roman Reigns.gif
John Cena winks.gif
Roman Reigns spears John Cena on table.gif

Now, here's where things get really interesting. After the match, Cena gives Roman his daps, and Roman heads to the back. Cena then spends the next nearly 5 minutes in the ring, nearly in tears, in a segment very much reminiscent of Undertaker's and HBK's goodbyes at Wrestlemanias. He revealed after the show on Raw Talk that the reason he went so hard at Roman was to push him and get him out of his comfort zone to bring something out of him, and that he's 100% confident with Roman leading the company into the future. He also hemmed and hawed a bit, but implied that this was his final match as an active competitor, and while he wasn't DONE DONE, he'd be around when the company needed him, but this is now Roman's company.

John Cena raises Roman Reigns' arm.gif
John Cena salutes.gif

TO THE BACK. Miz brags to Kurt about beating his son, and then wants to interview Roman Reigns on Raw tomorrow night. Kurt agrees and it will start the show!

Neville vs Enzo Amore WWE Cruiserweight Championship

Enzo had so much heat he got demoted to the cruiserweight division, which I'm sure made all those talents feel great about their standing in the company. Neville spends most of this match beating the shit out of Enzo, and when he's not, Enzo is finding ways to hurt himself. Eventually, Neville starts getting cocky and gets hit with a killer flying DDT. Neville threw Enzo to the time keeper's area, happy to get a count out win, but Enzo stole the title, which pissed Neville off into breaking the count. The ref then tried to get the belt away from Enzo, and while doing that, Enzo kicked Neville in the balls. New champion! Lmao. By the by, Enzo also went on Raw Talk and came off as a total asshole, saying Neville shouldn't have kids, who he'd fuck while wearing the belt and how ugly the belt was, and then randomly saying Miz and Maryse shouldn't be allowed to procreate. 

Neville kicks Enzo Amore.gif
Neville superkick to Enzo Amore.gif
Enzo Amore flying DDT to Neville.gif
Enzo low blow to Neville.gif

Brock Lesnar vs Braun Strowman WWE Universal Championship

This starts out super hot with Brock trying take downs and getting thrown off. Then a suplex is no sold into a chokeslam. And then...it turns into a slow, methodical, plodding big man match. The opposite of all of their interactions from Summerslam between this match. Yeah, I get the story of Braun physically dominating Brock, but we'd seen him physically dominate Brock in far more entertaining ways in the month before this. A series of German suplexes and F5 fells the monster. Title retained.

Braun Strowman chokeslams Brock Lesnar.gif
Braun Strowman belly bump to Brock Lesnar.gif
Braun Strowman spinebuster to Brock Lesnar.gif

I would say this was overall a very good B PPV, particularly in the second brand split era which are generally just extended Raw/SDs. Roman/Cena wasn't on the same level as Hogan/Warrior or Hogan/Rock as far as torch passing matches go, but it was pretty good, and it was an interesting twist to have Cena try the Super Cena thing only for it not to work and his opponent to be the one to pop up and hit one finisher to win. Much like Cena, I'm 100% confident in Roman leading the company for years after this, and you can see just in this match how much better Roman is than Cena. Everything he does is so much crisper, more natural looking, and graceful than Cena. Just compare their punches and it's night and day. It is weird for Cena to end his "real" career on a random B show, but he went out strong and I'll really never get how people don't see Roman for being as dope as he is. 

On the other hand, Brock/Braun might have been the most disappointing match of 2017, as all of their interactions and strengths made everyone expect a crazy 5 minute HOSS bombfest instead of 2 minutes of bombs, 8 minutes of slowly repeating moves until they got too tired to do anything else. I'm not at all worried about Braun's momentum being hurt or any shit, this is Brock Lesnar after all. I just wish the match was more entertaining.