DO THE HUSTLE! God yes, this starts with a recap of the first event set to LIMP BIZKIT! Since then, Ogawa has been very pissy, apparently killing a ref at a Zero 1 show. He would get his revenge on Giant Silva, and Takada would invade the show to start a fight Then the story gets to Matt Ghaffari's involvement, which is when THE IMPERIAL MARCH begins playing.
TO THE EVIL HIDDEN LAIR. Generalissimo Takada meets with his monster army comprised as PRIDE stars, DUSTIN RHODES, Giant Silva, Matt Ghaffari, and Dan Bobish. The ref that Ogawa injured does a full on Nazi salute to him. Takada is now dressed like M. Bison. Fucking dying at Mark Kerr asking everyone if they're monsters while using a Japanese accent. DO THE HUSTLE.
Kaz Hayashi/Leonardo Spanky vs Homicide/Low Ki
North East indies represent. Spanky and Homicide begin. They have a way super choreographed sequence that they kind of trip through. Ready to see Low Ki try something as ridiculous as a dragonrana to the floor again. Instead, his first move is a rope hanging arm bar. You ain't MiSu, bitch. Some absolutely ridiculous and nonsensical stand off spots in this. This is clipped, but what is shown is not impressive at all. Spanky looks like he was in mid bulk and having trouble getting used to the extra weight. He's so slow in this. Not good since it seems like he was in the ring for most of the match. Spanky won with a Chavo Guerrero level frog splash.
CW Anderson vs Steve Corino
Extreme Horsemen...EXPLODE! God, Corino looks even worse than he did at the first event. These two are/were besties, but they're also both scum bags, so they're quickly trying to out cheat each other and be the first to use a chair. Corino has such a hard time getting the chair to lean on the ropes. He just eventually gives up on whatever stupid spot he was attempting anyway. Fucking dying at Corino calling out moves (in Engrish) to absolutely zero reaction. CW starts the arm work, and that's most of the match. I don't understand any of Corino's shtick in Hustle. He calls out copying various dudes and everyone laughs and then that's all he does. CW kicks out of a Vandaminator superkick. Corino kicks out of a spinebuster on a chair. This match is weird. They went from hardcore to comedy to fighting spirit. Corino won with his shitty northern lights bomb.
Satoshi Kojima/Shinjiro Otani vs Dusty Rhodes/Dusty Rhodes Jr.
Goldust is wearing his red leather pants, a t-shirt, and has his face painted...like the Texas flag. Dusty is back in his traditional Bunkhouse Brawl gear. Does this mean that Dusty is part of the Monster Army? Or is he just supporting his boy? Dusty does some more work than you'd expect in the first few minutes, but I'm fascinated at the idea of Otani being a super cunt to him. I'll tell you this: It's not an all time classic. Otani pinned Dustin with a school boy OUTTA NOWHERE.
Fuck yes, Riki Choshu video set to PAPA ROACH!
Naohiro Hoshikawa/Zebraman vs Riki Choshu/Tomohiro Ishii
This is basically a massacre. Hoshikawa got demolished. Zebraman is hilariously bad. LOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOL when he calls for the screw punch and just spins in the air to miss a punch.
Justin Credible/Sabu/The Gladiator vs Kintaro Kanemura/Masato Tanaka/Tetsuhiro Kuroda
ECW vs FMW! CZFNW! The ECW team actually came out to the ECW theme, too. Shameless. Mike Awesome looks like shit. A lot of really, really shitty brawling leading up to a sit out Awesome Bomb off the apron through two table to Kanemura. Well, ON two tables, because of course neither of them broke. Shockingly, Sabu actually broke one. Sabu. Broke a table. IN JAPAN. What a time to be alive in 2004. Actually, Sabu hits all of his stuff clean, which is a bit disappointing. Awesome/Tanaka relive some of their famous spots, Justin is just there to eat the pin. Sabu and Awesome fucked the ref up after the match. After that, Tanaka and Kanemoto get into it. Then Kanemura dances to The Offspring and does a moonsault in an empty ring.
RANDOM WHITE CHICKS DANCE.
TO THE BACK. Ogawa and Hashimoto were given a delivery of chicken. Ogawa was very upset. I think Hashimoto was upset that Ogawa kicked it on the floor.
Dan Bobish vs The Predator
Bobish is a HOSS and a half. Got dang. But fuck The Predator. Always and forever. This match SUUUUUUUCKS. They're not on the same page at all, Bobish was barely even trained as a pro wrestler, and Predator sucks. Predator won with a King Kong knee drop.
Highlights of Choshu and Hashimoto trying to kill each other at a recent Z1 show are shown. It appears that Hash's shoulder was further injured in the match. This all leads into Mark Coleman/Kevin Randleman breaking a Hashimoto toy.
Toshiaki Kawada/Shinya Hashimoto vs Kevin Randleman/Mark Coleman
Dream teams. Team PRIDE are in their PRIDE/USA wrestling singlets. Jingoism! Beat these baka gaijin kaiju. God I love Coleman's terrible worked punches so much. They're SO bad. It's wonderful. Pretty even opening minutes from both sides. Coleman EASILY gets full mount on Kawada and beats his ass. Kawada wins a strike exchange with Randleman, which is very lol. Randleman had IT. he should have dropped MMA and went full time to pro wrestling. A freak athlete, incredible body, charisma out the wazoo, obviously a natural at pro wrestling stuff. Coleman is not really any of that, but I can appreciate his selflessness by letting pro wrestlers out strike him repeatedly. Hashimoto's shoulder is a recurring issue in the match, as even when he's on offense, it slows him down. It also causes him to tag out sooner than expected, leaving Kawada to do much of the leg work in this match. "LET'S DOUBLE TEAM THIS FUCKAHHH!" Lol. Randleman gets a ref stoppage after dropping heavy knees and punches on Hashimoto's shoulder. The Monster Army reps continue to tear Hash's arm up after the match, necessitating a large pull apart.
Matt Ghaffari vs Naoya Ogawa
Before the match, Ogawa took his gloves off, because this is a FIGHT! But before the match actually starts, Generalissimo Takada appears on the stage to trash talk Ogawa. He then sends out the Monster Army to be at ringside for this match. You in some shit now, Ogawa. OH MY GOD, THE MONSTER ARMY'S THEME MUSIC IS RELAX BY FRANKIE GOES TO HOLLYWOOD. Incredible. Relax. Don't do it. When you want to go to it. Relax, don't do it when you want to come. Oh wait, it looks like This match is now a handicap/gauntlet match. YA DONE, SON! Ogawa easily drops Coleman/Randleman/Goldust with STOs. it takes longer to get Bobish down, but the whole army joins in to beat Ogawa's ass. After he's down and out, Ghaffari finally steps into the ring to get the pin. Ogawa is left down and out. Hashimoto hit the ring to protect his friend. Hashimoto and Ogawa talked to the crowd for quite a bit to end the show.
TO THE EVIL HIDDEN LAIR. Generalissimo Takada gloats about his successful night.
If you thought this show was wacky and random, just know that their next PPV event features The Outsiders, Mick Foley, a minis/women/exoticos mixed tag, and more.