WWF Monday Night Raw 7/12/93
Yokozuna vs Crush WWF Championship
What a big way to start the show. Yoko is DRENCHED in sweat just walking to the ring. The Manhattan Center is extra xenophobic tonight. Crush keeps trying to play the power game with Yoko. Not sure it's the best game plan. This is like the only time Crush is going to have the speed and agility advantage, so he should probably focus on that instead of trying to knock Yoko around with shoulder blocks and shit. God damn it, NERVE HOLDS ON A TV OPENER. Fuck off, Yoko. Crush nearly wins the title with a flying shoulder block. Yoko barely moved his shoulder. Fuji interferes and Yoko wins with the bonzai drop. He hits another one after the match. Tatanka hits the ring to save Crush. It doens't work. Crush has been hit with 4 bonzai drops. Jobbers hit the ring and get laid out. Finally, Randy Savage gets in the ring, despite his contract stating he can no longer get involved in in ring action. Even though he does every other week. After the break, Crush is being carted off on a stretcher.
Headshrinkers vs Aaron Ferguson/PJ Walker
Anoaʻi family getting paid tonight. Justin Credible basically gets murdered in the first spot of the match with a gigantic double flap jack that sees him land on his god damn head. He's then immediately laid the fuck out with a lariat to the mouth. Really working for that pay. Utter destruction.
Tatanka vs Brooklyn Brawler
Fuck this match. Tatanka won with the End of the Trail.
Mr. Hughes vs Tony Devito
A funeral wreath was delivered to Mr. Hughes. Hughes very quickly won with a chokeslam.
TO THE SUMMERSLAM REPORT. Mean Gene hypes up Bret Hart vs Jerry Lawler.
TO THE GHETTO. MOM rippity rap in the slums and basketball courts. Because...you know. They're black. The fuck.
Adam Bomb vs ???
Another ultra short squash.
Next week will feature Marty vs HBK, 123 Kid, and MOM's debut. A show that devotes half of its run time to Yokozuna and Crush can only be so good. I appreciate the attempt to build Yoko as a true unstoppable monster, but god damn was he boring as fuck when not squashing dudes.