WCW Uncensored 3/19/95
I just can't stop watching WCW. Tony has a great mullet. Tenay still looks like a bird. There will be many firsts tonight. The show starts with a bizarre promo from Hulk Hogan standing in front of an oiled up man in a lion cloth engulfed in smoke.
Dustin Rhodes vs Blacktop Bully
King of The Road Match
This is one of the weirdest matches ever. The guys fight in the back of a moving semi, which is surrounded in animal caging. The inside of the truck is full of shovels, hay, and possibly shit. The way to win is get to the front of the truck, where you ring a bell/horn. Piledriver! On hay. There is a helicopter cam, two cameras in the truck, and a camera crew driving beside the truck. It's one of the dumbest thing you'll ever see. I'd love to know A. Who thought this was a good idea and B. What kind of back story leads to a match like this. Feels like a Dusty idea. Dustin throws a bucket of water or something. The truck totally blew through a stop sign. Both men bladed, which is ridiculous because you couldn't even see it. "I've seen Dusty walk like that before." Blading was strictly forbidden in WCW at the time and both guys were fired for this match. I'd say it worked out for the best for Dustin. It was probably intentional. Stuff is falling off the truck as they ride by a trailer park. At some points, the helicopter isn't even pointing at the truck and instead just doing shots of the scenery of rural Mississippi. They get stopped by a church bus. Plenty of "microwave interference". This is probably the dumbest gimmick match ever. Even dumber than the shit TNA came up with. Bully wins! Repo Man, getting PPV wins in 1995. First and last ever King of the Road match.
TO THE BACK. Mike Tenay talks with Arn Anderson over his boxer vs wrestler match with Johnny B. Badd. Col. Parker is pretty hyped about Bully winning his match. Meng will have a martial arts match with Jim Duggan later. Meng is dressed like Kwang. Definitely not anything from Tonga.
Duggan/Meng recap video. Set to Rey Mysterio's music.
Jim Duggan vs Meng
Martial Arts Match
I guess this was Meng's first actual match in WCW. He was a body guard for many months. Sonny Onoo is the special ref. Sonny is just his nick name. His actual name is Kazuo. Duggan refuses to bow. AMERICANS DON'T BOW, TOUGH GUY! After minutes of fucking around with the bowing, he finally does it and the match begins. Unsurprisingly, Meng no sells everything. Duggan takes his boot off to hit Meng. It didn't work, so he took the other one off. Now both men are shoeless. Chokes and nerve holds everywhere. I'm not sure what makes this a martial arts match. It seems like a normal boring wrestling match that these guys would be having into 2001. Duggan tries a headbutt. Stupid. Duggan hits the 3 Point Stance lariat. Meng no sells it. Meng wins with a savate kick. Do most martial arts contests end by pinfall?
Recap of Arn/Johnny B Badd.
TO THE BACK. Tenay talks to Johnny B. Badd and his trainer.
A special look at Arn Anderson.
Arn Anderson vs Johnny B. Badd
Boxer vs Wrestler Match
You can via pin/submission, or a 10 count as in boxing. It's done in rounds. Badd is in boxing gear. I don't know if he's not allowed to do wrestling moves or not. Johnny's punch speed is too much for Arn to handle in the first round. GO FOR THE LEGS, ARN. WHAT ARE YOU DOING HANGING AND BANGING? YOU'RE THE WRESTLER, TAKE IT TO THE MAT! Round one ends with Arn down in the corner. Round 2 starts with Arn getting dropped. Standing 8 count. Finally, Arn grabs a leg, but misses an elbow drop and is knocked down again. Arn is down for the 3rd time in this round. Shouldn't that be the end of the match? Arn is down again. We need a ref stoppage. Arn isn't intelligently defending himself at all. But he attacks Johnny and hits a DDT during the rest period. Arn again attacks while Badd is in the corner. YEAH FUCK HIM UP ARN! Johnny is whipped into the stool and then gets hit with the spinebuster. The corner man jumps Arn, but the man continues. End of round 3. Johnny cheats by having his corner man put the bucket on Arn's head, then punching it, then taking a glove off to punch with a taped fist. What a cheater.
Randy Savage video.
TO THE BACK. Tenay talks to Savage about his match with Avalanche. WHAT IT IS IS WHAT IT IS! "I don't even know what I'm saying right now. I'LL KNOCK YOU OUT!" Lol. I wish he had knocked Tenay out.
Randy Savage vs Avalanche
This doesn't have a real gimmick to the match, but there are no DQs tonight, so this is by default a no disqualification match. Avalanche is probably the most blatant gimmick rip off WCW ever did, tied only with The Boss (Big Boss Man with his outfit in all black) and The Prisoner (Nailz as... Nailz). His gear is pretty much the same, but blue instead of red. He has the same rumbly music. Brain says you can feel the ground shake when he walks. Macho gets off to a hot start, but it slows once Quake does fat guy offense. Belly to belly. Dropkick from Quake! Didn't have a ton of impact, but it did have good height. Quake misses an elbow, but launches Savage to the floor and then into the ring post. He gave Savage way too much time to recover. Savage tried a sunset flip. He got tea bagged instead. Powerslam. School boy gets a 2 count. Another powerslam. Quake misses a 2nd rope splash. Double ax handle to the floor. A woman attacks Savage and the ref. IT'S RIC FLAIR! Hulk Hogan runs out to save Savage. Randy Savage wins by disqualification on a show (and match) promoted as having no disqualifications.
TO THE BACK. Tenay talks with Harlem Heat and Sister Sherri. Ain't nothing to it, but to DO IT. Texas Tornado match with the Nasty Boys. Fucking Knobs. This is the third promo where Tenay threw it back to Tony and Brain while people were still talking.
Big Bubba/Sting video.
TO THE BACK. Tenay talks with Sting. Sting excited for wrestling? So weird to see after 1998.
Big Bubba Rogers vs Sting
Sting leg drops Bubba's hat. That wasn't nice. He then threw the hat into the crowd. That's just rude Body slam with da greatest of ease. Sting is dominating. That is, until a bad leap frog, in which Bubba's head clipped his knee. Boss Man continues to work the knee for a while. Balls to the neck and sliding uppercut. More leg work. Boss Man slips hard off the top rope. Sting makes a come back. Superfly Splash. Never mind the leg work for the whole match. He sold it after he hit the move, but you shouldn't be doing top rope splashes after a match of ring work. Sting tries to slam Bubba (which he did just moments ago with no problems), but falls back. Bubba gets the pin.
Harlem Heat/Nasty Boys video.
TO THE BACK. Tenay talks with the Nasty Boys. Fat fuck Knobs.
Harlem Heat vs Nasty Boys
Falls Count Anywhere No Disqualification
Non-title. Man, fuck the Nasty Boys. Reckless, out of shape, terrible cunts. Pit Stop to Sherri. They head back to the concession stand. Cotton candy is EXTREME! Knobs falls on his fat ass. So does Booker. Everyone falls because slushies were dropped all over the floor. Mustard everywhere. Just a big stupid mess. I'm pretty sure Sherri tried to SHOOT with Sags for hitting her in the face with a hot dog, then straight up grabbing her tits and trying to rip her outfit off. If you ever wanted to see a match where wrestlers can't do anything with out falling on their asses, this is the match for you. I guess Knobs pinned Booker. The camera missed it. After the match, Sags shoved Sherri, knowing she'd slip and fall, which she did, and appeared to be injured in the fall. I really think those two got into a SHOOT fight in the middle of this mess. Sherri got pissed when something hit her in the face and she went right after Sag's eyes. He definitely hit her a few times and then that shove after the match with no warning into an ultra slippery floor just added to the whole thing.
TO THE BACK. Tenay talks with Vader. Vader shoves him out of frame and is going to kill Hulk Hogan. Flair still has his make up on and looks like a cross between Gary Numan and The Joker from The Killing Joke. He's so sick of Hulk Hogan. Me too.
Vader vs Hulk Hogan WCW Championship
Buffer botches his cue. Jimmy Hart has been missing all night. It is assumed that Vader took him out. Hulk Hogan, the King of Hulkmania. Flair and Vader back Hogan into the corner when THE RENEGADE comes in to run Flair off. Knock off Warrior music, outfit, and entrance. Hogan hyped him as his "ultimate" surprise, but a threat of legal action made them make it clear it wasn't Warrior, but The Renegade. Hogan is dominating Vader in the ring, but we're watching Renegade stalk Flair around ringside instead. Flair gets in the ring and gets some strappage. We finally get to the match. Hogan has dominated for most of it. He won't even go down from Saber attacks. Vader Bomb! I must have missed something, but there is no ref in the ring. "I believe he's going to have to seek psychiatric help", in reference to Flair. That long term booking. No one even knew that Flair getting put in the nut house was the culmination of a 4 year angle. It goes to the floor. Jimmy Hart is back. Hogan does some terrible chair shots. They didn't even have the strap on for most of this stuff. Also, the chair shots are shown via pulled back hard cam. Flair and Renegade fight in the ring for a bit. Hogan does a slam on the floor. Every 40 seconds or so, Brain says, "Who is this Renegade?". Hogan is trying to touch the corners by touching the ring posts while on the floor. It's UNCENSORED, guys! Chokeslam. Splash. Hulk Hulks up, hits the boot, and the leg drop. Some masked man hits Renegade with a piece of wood. Flair jumps in the ring and hits Hogan with a chair. Vader has 3 corners hit. Flair comes back in and wants a splash. Vader instead does a hilarious Pooh bear somersault, landing on a wooden chair. Flair pulls Vader to the floor and gets another wooden chair. WCW and their wooden chairs. Hulk boots and straps Flair. Flair now has the strap on. Hogan touches all 4 corners and is declared the winner by defeating Ric Flair in a match against Vader. It's UNCENSORED, guys! Rent A Warrior holds off Vader and Flair. The masked man comes back out to make it a 2/3 stand off. Arn Anderson waddles out, in the same costume, but now he's tied up. The masked man in the ring attacks Vader and Flair with a chair (which we don't see, because the camera was on Arn). He reveals himself to be Randy Savage! DOUBLE SWERVE! The faces all celebrate and some kid shits himself at ringside.
DQ Count: 1 out of 7 matches (even though the whole premise of the show is no disqualifications)
This was terrible. Terrible in a different way from later WCW. This is so bad it's good terrible. Dying WCW was so bad it's painful to watch terrible. King of the Road match is one of the dumbest ideas ever in wrestling. A martial arts match that was just a wrestling match and ended in a pin. A boxer vs wrestler match that had rounds and I guess Arn could only pin, and Badd could only knock out. The fight in the stands where everyone kept slipping and falling and Sherri and Saggs SHOOTING on each other over I believe a hot dog to the face. Hogan dominating Vader for the majority of the match, with at least half of the match actually being Renegade slowly stalking Ric Flair around ringside. Then Ric Flair is the one to drop the fall, despite not being in the match. Also, there was no ref so there really weren't any enforceable rules to begin with.
IT'S UNCENSORED, GUYS!