WCW Monday Nitro 3/6/00
TO THE BACK. Finlay is getting all up in Vampiro's shit, saying he's sick of Vamp's lack of respect. A brawl breaks out.
Psychosis vs Kaz Hayashi
Jobber entrances. "Finally, The Juice is in the house by the popular demand." Juvi said some other stuff but I literally couldn't understand a word of it. Mark Madden out here talking about FIGHTING SPIRIT after a fucking dropkick. As these two cruiserweights that got no entrances are having a match, Vampiro and Finlay brawl into the ring, then around ringside, then to the back. THEN, Prince comes out and hits Hypno with the belt while Paisley and Juvi argue. Juvi and Psychosis then beat Prince up.
TO THE BACK. Vamp and Finlay are being separated by security. Elsewhere, Jeff and the Harris Bros make a comment about the show.
TO THE MEAN GENE. THE MAMALUKES. OHHHH HEEEYYY, PAISONS! JTB loves his cheese sandwiches, and he's not going to eat another one until he gets the Harris Bros in the ring at Uncensored.
TO THE BACK. Vampiro throws a fit.
TO THE NITRO PARTY. Fuck Riki Rachtman.
TO THE BACK. Team Package arrives.
Ron Harris vs Big Vito
Boy, fuck this. Harris Brehs won with twin magic, but the ref saw the replay and reversed the decision. After the match, Vito got handcuffed to the ropes while JTB got hit with the H-Bomb. Security is sent out and destroyed. A cop comes out and gets shoved off the apron, only to immediately draw his nightstick and send the Harris Brothers running.
TO THE MEAN GENE. David's 21st birthday present is...a match with THE WALL, BROTHER.
TO THE BACK. The Harris Brothers are being arrested for assaulting an officer. Having them be arrested by two black cops has to be a rib based on their neo-Nazi backgrounds.
David Flair vs The Wall
Wall destroyed Crowbar with a chokeslam from the apron to the announce table on Thunder, so David is out for revenge. David gets destroyed and chokeslammed through two tables. Happy birthday! Arn, Curt Hennig, and Terry Funk come out to check on David. Perfect wants to know where the fuck Ric is.
MOMENTS AGO. Bam Bam confronted The Wall, saying he didn't teach him to get over by hurting people. Wall punches him and sends him flying off the stairs onto a table.
The Dog vs Evan Karagais
Frick this. While this was supposed to be a singles match, it ended up first as a handicap match and then a six man tag, then back to a singles match. Nick Patrick didn't seem to give a flying fuck about the rules. Dog won with an avalanche powerslam.
TO THE MEAN BY GOD GENE. Lex is going to break Sting's arm again at Uncensored. Gene asks Ric about what happened to David. "He's 21 years old, whadya want?"
TO THE BACK. Jeff and the broads seem to be leaving. Elsewhere, Sid begs Vampiro to be on his side tonight.
Jeff Jarrett comes out and sends the women to the back. It's bad enough to have to listen to Jeff, but now we have only him to look at, too? Fuck. FRICK! Jeff claims the cops are inbred hicks. Then he goes on to talk about all this stroke he has and how he runs the show, but he still is forced to get a new partner and compete tonight. His partner tonight is...IT'S THE WALL, BROTHER!
TO THE BACK. Lenny and Lodi are wandering around the back and come across the Demon's casket. Elsewhere, Curt Hennig and Ric Flair head to the ring.
Ric Flair vs Curt Hennig
Now, are we just pretending that Perfect never lived up to his stipulation of stripping if he lost to Ric in their previous match? Lmao. "We oughta be wrestling over at DUKE tonight, not Chapel Hill." This is definitely a pairing I don't ever need to see again. Ever. At least they actually did more than chops, with Flair working the leg for most of the match. You know, to set up his fucking move instead of doing hammerlocks for 80% of the match. Lex comes out and gets decked, twice. Perfect Plex OUTTA NOWHERE. Hennig wins! Of course, he gets attacked after the match. Arn comes out like he gives a shit about Curt Hennig, the man that took his SPOT. He lets Lex break his arm, though. Lex was about to hit Arn with the bat, but Ric told him no.
TO THE BACK. Lenny and Lodi are welding the Demon's casket shut. The Demon didn't appreciate it. Elsewhere, Hennig is loaded into an ambulance. Elsewhere elsewhere, Team Package celebrate.
Lane vs Norman Smiley
Lodi joins for commentary. As if watching a Lenny Lane match wasn't bad enough. Lenny again crashes and burns on a dive, while also maybe blowing Norman's knee out. Also lol at him literally landing face first on a moonsault. Miss Hancock comes out again and gets on the table, but does not dance. Norman wins with the chickenwang. Demon came out and beat up Lenny/Lodi with Norman after the match.
TO THE MEAN GENE. It's SID!
TO THE BACK. Tank Abbott arrives. "HEY, DUMBASS, WHERE'S THE LOCKER ROOM!?!?"
When we come back from break, Tank is in the ring talking about his match with Sid last week. "He couldn't hold a candle to my jockstrap." I'm not sure that's a phrase, Tank. He says the only reason he tapped was because "they" were going to take him off TV, but they can't tell him what to do...is this one of those worked shewts? He refuses to leave, so the next match is going to start with him still out here. La Parka comes out and gets laid out. Doug Dillinger and security come out, only to wash their hands of the whole situation. So MENG comes out. Security and JJ Dillon stop him and tell him he'll get a 60 day suspension without pay if he heads to the ring. This is where you realize that Meng has to do his taxes every year. He probably hires a CPA.
TO THE BACK BROTHER. Omg, YAPAPI. "Because in the Yapapi Indian strap match, when you're in the four corners of the battle zone, the main priority is is to get the body in the proper position for the strapation, dudes."
Billy Kidman vs Stevie Ray
Lmao at Amhed coming down like 2 minutes after Stevie. Kidman cut his promo that he knew it wasn't going to a be a singles match, so he brought help...although at this point, Ahmed was just making it to ringside. Of course, Booker was the partner, but this isn't a tag match. However, the ref is letting it all go on, and now it IS officially a tag match. Kidman had Amhed pinned until KASH pulled the ref out. Stevie hits Billy with a slapjack to end the match.
TO THE BACK. Jeff and Wall have a meeting. Elsewhere Dustin Rhodes heads to ringside.
Dustin Rhodes comes to the ring in all black, with a spool of barbed wire. He talks about how pathetic it is that Terry Funk still cares about what the fans think. "Now, I used to do the same thing, but I came to the conclusion that, you know what, these people out here, these MARKS, these internet freaks, these smart-cheat sheet-writing...You all make me sick." Are we sure Russo isn't back in the picture? Because the Tank segment and this make me feel like Russo is behind this show. "Fat boy, you're not worth the sweat on my ass." Terry comes out. "I'm talking to you, you chicken chokin' pecker head!" Lmao. Now he's doing Foghorn Leghorn impressions. The fuck? Lmao. "You're just like you're old man: You're a overbearing, fat, obnoxious eeeeeeeeeeggggggg suckin' dawg!" Now, Terry brought a bag out with him. Inside that bag is not barbed wire, but Dustin's illegitimate little brother: A CHICKEN! Omg, he threw the chicken at Dustin's head. Loooooooooool. Terry wants to have a barbed wire match right now. Dustin throws powder in Funk's face and hits him with a DDT and piledrivers. "I'm fixin' to powerbomb you on this shit." Instead, Terry ends up slamming Dustin on the wire.
TO THE BACK. JJ, Wall, Sid, and Vampiro head to the ring.
Sid/Vampiro vs The Wall/Jeff Jarrett
Looool at this build to make Wall look like this monster and he instantly gets embarrassed by Sid AND Vamp. There's a brief JARRETT SUCKS chant, which is the most heat I've heard Jeff get in months. Sid seems to be the only guy anyone cares about here. Lol at the double chokeslam tease. Of course, Nick Patrick gets bumped, Jeff breaks ANOTHER guitar on Sid, Wall chokeslams Sid, and Jeff pins Sid again.
Good job making Wall seem like a monster? I guess. We're 2 weeks away from Uncensored, but more importantly, 4 weeks away from the reboot. It can't come soon enough.